The Fear of Falling Behind: Strategies to Overcome

If someone elbowed you in your sleep and then yelled like any fairy tale witch, what would you do? You would still be rubbing your eyes, perhaps yawning in utter disgust, and after a few seconds, you would be asking about this jibe. Here in this case, you could have a conversation even if that person was terrible to talk with.

But if it’s you who barbs at yourself most of the time, if you’re the one who is responsible for ruining your own peace, then how will you tame that ruthless inner voice?

Let me give you a few updates about my last week. I had a jam-packed schedule in the last few weeks. But the last week, I mostly yawned during work and study sessions. But I can’t put up a single complaint against myself. I did all the required work in between those yawns. I did all the editing work for my website. I rescheduled my study time for my next exams. I redesigned my desk. I worked on... okay, tear this list. I did what I was supposed to do according to my schedule. But then why couldn’t I tick off the "happy" box? How could "tiredness" get all the attention? One answer to this whole fuss is that I have had nightmares of falling behind.

In the current situation, most of us are in a whirlwind of unjust chaos. We all want stable steps on the ladder. And if we are lucky enough to get that step, the next thing we want is to step up each and every time. Either we are looking out for the next big opportunity, or biting our nails for exam results, or hoping for personal successes. The common thing is that we all have our checklists for those particular things. We have done our base work; we know how capable we are, and we have vigorously worked hard on that. And perhaps from day 1, we all want to be appreciated. It’s not wrong or absurd. If we put every ounce of our effort into something, we definitely deserve the pat of approval. But if we look only for the good things over the wall of our efforts, then the situation will barge in on our mental health. In short, we are all preparing for something new at every turn, and we are trying to hop up in the shortest possible time. In this whole time of climbing ropes, we should have a good deal with ourselves where we can say, "Well, I am quite good at this given time.”

Do you remember Pip from "Great Expectations"? He had had a series of conflicts to finally reach the point of consciousness. When you read the story, did you ever find similarities between his experiences and yours? Perhaps yes, because apart from the situational differences, we are all digging out the core facts of our happiness, even if we prioritise our expectations. The nightmares of falling behind create friction between those lists of expectations and the happiness metre. On those weak days, we can question ourselves,

How can I get that spark back? (Example, set a newly revised schedule to break monotony)

When do I need rest?

What kind of conversation or activity can make me bounce back?

Each answer shows a mirror. It reflects our individual strength and consciousness. I call these responses Ina*. The repetitive firmness creates the way out of the labyrinth; we just need to rub off the vagueness.

 (*In Sanskrit, Ina (इन).—a. means determined or anything that is powerful.)