Turn the Page for Main Lead

Have you ever seen someone who is most of the time too cranky about perfection? Well, hello, I’m one kind. I try to balance this fuss, but sometimes I get bad days with this occasional fit! But when I get into the zombie zone, it becomes more difficult for me to come back without any solution. Last week, an ink pen nib gave two messy strikes on the cover of my notebook. The ink soaked in seconds, and it left two violet lines on the top of the green cloth cover. I was furious, anxious, sad, disappointed, and I might have listed some more negative annotations at that moment. I had no solution, and I also had no time to sit for that. I was in a hurry to complete my last week's schedule.

This weekend, this notebook got an extravagant splash of attention. After putting some cleaning sprays on that, I was very sure that it wouldn’t work. Finally, I decided to cover that with some sort of illustration. I randomly sketched a crown, and it covered the short line. It looked quite reasonable. But putting something on the long line was complicated and quite irritable.

The next day, I had a Pinterest hour. I searched for many things that would go well with a crown. Finally, Queen Bee got the spot. After a series of lines and patterns on the right wing I couldn’t stop grinning. This task reminded me of my longtime love for the Queen Bee. I know she has always been criticised for her bossiness, but every single time she regains the rightful appreciation for her ostentatious ruling power.

We are awed by her main lead kind of attributes in a hive and we stare at the queen and her workers' discipline. Now the point is that other bees make their ‘Queen’ according to their natural instincts for survival. They make her what she is. But here in our world, we won't get real-life workers to give us royal jelly from time to time to become the main character. But unconsciously, or to some extent consciously, we wish to get such queenly attention from others. But that’s the trap in the human world; it’s time to pinch yourself, “We’re not in a hive.” But here’s something more about this: We all have some hidden workers who can give us the throne and power.

Each day, our workers go out to complete our work and finally to put ‘success’ into those small cells. But hold on, who are these workers? Well, one: self-confidence; two: self-respect; three: self-discipline; four: self-validation; five: self-motivation; six: self-love; and more and more. We push each one of them ahead, and either they bring back something or they get stuck or they get wounded. And that duality, that 50-50 chance of winning or not-winning (avoid the word ‘losing’), affects our perception about our self-efficacy. In the recent tumult of the unemployment situation, that percentage gets even lower more rapidly. Its negative impact is quite capable of dragging us down to be one of those ‘extras’ in our own stories. On the contrary, Queen Bee put her workers in charge without any doubt or any percentage calculation. She has supreme authority over efficacy issues.

The theory of self-efficacy lies at the center of psychologist Albert Bandura's social cognitive theory, which emphasises the role of "observational learning" and social experience in the "development of personality." Bandura explained that the most effective way to build self-efficacy with engagement in mastery experiences. These mastery experiences can be defined as personal experiences of success. Achieving difficult goals in the face of adversity helps build confidence and strengthen perseverance. That "success" varies from person to person. For me, when I write every blog even when I get the punch of other work commitments, that gives me a tick mark on my self-efficacy. Every week I can proudly say, “I didn’t miss this Wednesday.” Even on that day, when I could repair a damaged notebook, that small work had a positive impact on my self-efficacy.

We all have a societal list of success rate charts. But how far that chart is good enough that’s a matter of judgement. For example, if you see a person doing well in business and society calls him/her successful, what would be your take? In most cases, we list our insufficient resources for not starting a business and we regret.  But have you ever double checked if that person is drowning in debt or not? No.  And those Instagram lives never give any honest interpretation. We think of them as ‘leads’. Here we lack self-efficacy because we compare ourselves without even knowing everything about the other side. Firstly, tear up that so-called chart and turn the page. Ask yourself:

"How do I want to see my story?"

"Do I value my efforts even when I don’t know the results?"

"Where do I place myself in a hero’s journey?"

This circle is surely complicated and a very much ‘literature’ thing, and I know its steps show us something fictional. But stories are made of real people. Try to see yourself on a hero’s journey. Wherever you see yourself, just acknowledge this fact that you’ve chosen the journey of a main lead. I call this acknowledgment Ina*. It’s not easy to cross the circle. But some harsh phases, some unexpected turns, some ups and downs, and some proud smiles make the story worth praising. Just pat your workers, rub your crown, and go on.

(*In Sanskrit, Ina (इन).—a. means determined or anything that is powerful.)