The Two-Letter Word: No
The Little Knitter (1882), William-Adolphe Bouguereau
The squeezed lemon and the drops of honey mended quite clumsily in the glass; the water looked extremely cooperative. I sipped them and leaned back on the sofa. The sunray looked unbothered at the curtains and fell sharply on the marvel floor through the monstera leaves. They looked extremely playful. I saw my reflection on our glass coffee table. After a long sleep, I still looked tired. My planner yawned just beside my reflection. I flipped the hardcover. The pages were blowing pretty incontinently. The pages looked different. The yellow markings were waving simultaneously with the wind speed. I hold the month page up and almost every date had a yellow marking; no Sundays even got the spare. I sat tall. There’s no point in calling this ‘calmness’. I was by no means in the space to claim calmness. The day went by with the ‘planning’. And two more days went by like the clappers. On Saturday morning, I felt I needed to do something—something that would give me the space to recuperate.
It’s Sunday. This morning the sunbeam looked like glittering feathers. It fell on my knees slowly. The playfulness was attentive to me. Last night, I rearranged my schedule; I said ‘no’ to some tasks.
‘No’ is a simple two-letter word, but how this little word often creates so many skeptical implementations in our lives. We fear getting along with this word, especially when we struggle to find a swiftly-flowing successful life. We consider ‘No’ as a very negative connotation. The sound is not appealing. And this circle goes on. Now here’s the question, when would we find any end dot of this circle? One more point, do circles have end dots? But if I could deviate a line from that circle, the line would say ‘no’ to others and ‘positive nod’ to me; that would be the passage to recuperate; in short, this is the deciding time. That would be the first step in creating the free space for me.
Imagine if we stay away from the rut, the decision-making process will be easier and burden free. But we often take a long time to realize when we need to say that ‘No’; when we need to draw that line for only ourselves. We fear; we feel clustered; we adjust. One thing that is even more analytical is that if we start restricting our emotions, eventually there will be hollowness in our commitments, the ‘yes’ would not be happy one; rather the time would look like the-heap-of –trash like burden. It would eventually create gaps in relationships, be it work or be it personal. In order to maintain the balance between ‘Me’ and ‘Others’, we need to give equal attention to both sides; we can’t be biased only to ‘Others’ to be in good acquaintance. When ‘Me’ does not get any priority, then we begin to collapse, silently. We forget to create that ‘recuperate zone’. As author Susan Newman says, “By saying no, you state your opinion, stand up for yourself, and become sole proprietor of your life.”
When you say this ‘No’, you choose the ‘Me’ over ‘Others’; you create the balance. The one ‘No’ fills the gaps of unhealthy burdens. I call this balance Ina*. It’s simple yet daring. But if we dare, we create a sumptuous space for both sides. We unshackle the burden.
(*In Sanskrit, Ina (इन).—a. means determined or anything that is powerful.)