Learning: (Un) Happiness
The Spirit of Education by Norman Rockwell
Backstory:
“You should learn at least one foreign language to know the rhythm of literature.” In our second semester, one of our professors told us about this important life lesson. And after reading One Hundred Years of Solitude, I was convinced that I too wanted to see the eternal groove of the rhythm, and the first rut of the rhythm would be in Márquez’s language, Spanish. Like everybody else, I stepped into the wildest passion-searching-fantasy game in lockdown. I started off with a little bit of self-learning. But in both my conscious and subconscious state, and also in every friend’s opinion, I felt it wasn’t the best way. I kept on searching for a good institution to learn Spanish. I got one, the so-called best language learning institution in Calcutta, and they provided online classes (the true blessing of COVID phase). In other words, I was in the ‘best’ hands. But...
Real-Time:
I continued typing on Google. I wanted some effective results on my search for “tips for the beginners’ level examination in Spanish”. In around four and a half months, the teacher announced the final examination date with a notice of 7 days. Some of us argued, “But it was a six month course... It’s too early for an examination...We can’t speak properly...How will we write essay...What is the syllabus...How this gonna happen?”
No constructive answer came in. I was again circled back to the self-learning zone. I saw that I was kind of abandoned with some class-notes and a few other odds and ends. I prepared a study plan as I used to do as a topper in those high-school-days. I planned everything with the famous 80/20 method. Highlighters, grammar books, book marks, articles, and print-outs—I dropped everything on my desk. I perhaps looked like a glinted watch tower in those night times and a blabbering radio in the day times. But I could only find an extremely waspish ‘me’ whereas the outcome could have looked far more enthusiastic if some wise decisions were taken early.
After some days, when the viva test was going on, suddenly I saw myself in that tiny tab of the video call. I looked extremely distressed, nervous, and unhappy. I still can’t forget the examiner’s crooked smile when he asked me, “¿Qué es un propósito de vida?” (What is the purpose of life?)
I stammered. I was struggling to frame a nice sentence. What I said wasn’t an expert answer. But I know that I tried. The very first thing I realized after the test was that, I was digging in the wrong place to find happiness. I never went back to see the results of that language test.
I did not find any glimpse of the rhythm; rather a haunted turmoil blew off my confidence towards some unknown crossovers. We are not bound to believe only in the traditional way out to solve any of the jigsaw puzzles of our lives. In my case, an ecstatic ‘me’ abruptly transformed into an underconfident girl in those few months. That major negative transition in my self-esteem focused only on ‘unhappiness’. Psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden said in his book, “To trust one’s mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.” He further added, “The power of this conviction about oneself lies in the fact that it is more than a judgment or a feeling. It is a motivator.”
Those words changed my perspective. Learning a new language is not a reflection of struggling. Both words do not even connect whereas some systems always try to knot those in transitory ways. I again started with ‘my’ methods, the methods where happiness gets the priority. I call the power Ina*. We all see similar kinds of unanticipated pitfalls in our lives. We deal or we fail. When we change our belief systems those changes surely do not get ‘welcoming’ waves. But we can surely pick the methods from the traditional ways. And when we create the likeable sets with our own vibrancy, we stay happy. There could be different debates about the processes of learning a new language or anything that is new and a little difficult. But what I have experienced and what I am experiencing right now, one thing is pretty obvious that if I do not have any likeable sets, I will never be successful. The likeable set includes some tinges of passion, focus, and flexible methods. Learning is a bond. We can create this bond for ourselves and for the next one who would pick up the relay. It’s not a hard process.
(*In Sanskrit, Ina (इन).—a. means determined or anything that is powerful.)