How to Deal with Low Phases
Last Sunday afternoon was like a stressful match day. The entire afternoon, I just thought about some uncalled or it would be better to say some whirling results. It is even quite embarrassing to accept that I felt depressed with the thought of losing my newly bought bedsheet’s colour. Yes, it sounds trivial but I managed to make this a big nail-bitting event. A solid black bedsheet never got a prominent place in my bedroom. It always had pastel dominance. But this time, a bold choice managed to peak in. The unnecessary thinking timer got its speed when my classmate rang me and asked,” What are you doing?” And I answered honestly. She said, “Black materials do fade very easily. You could have chosen something in red… and by the way, don’t you think your room gonna look a little weird?”
I suddenly started regretting the time when I read thousands of misspelled reviews about the colour-fading experiences but still convinced my shopping-friendly soul to put my head into the cart. My brain was constantly saying, “Why didn’t you ask anyone?” The unnecessary doubt trip continued with overly dramatic dialogues. After around twenty minutes, my bedsheet came out of the circle door in its original charcoal colour and gave me the reason for an old-fashioned sigh.
Another thing happened yesterday. I lost an old, rare Bengali book to a man. I was searching the title on Google. I leaned back on the second-hand bookstall’s wooden shelf. I was waiting for the ‘Safari’s’ validation. But when I looked back at the counter, a man was putting the book in his big leather office bag.
Overall, those ‘what if’ moments created some bad mood days and some under-confident glances. Those stress series went on quite frequently. The last few days proved one thing. I welcomed this labyrinth with that freaking bedsheet and continued to keep my confidence level on the verge of a sloppy mindset. Another thing that came to bright light was these phases are not tagged only with serious work; rather these are steps towards a crude labyrinth. This labyrinth keeps on staying with us even in the smallest possible confusions. If our negative thinking loop differs to move into the positive direction then under-confidence, worry or stress issues are quite capable of restricting our constructive working flow, or even at worse scenario, it can stop many thought-provoking creations.
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? this book simplifies the awkward emotional reasoning menace. Author Dr Julie Smith says, “The thing about the human brain is that, when you believe something, the brain will scan the environment for any signs that the belief is true. Information that challenges our beliefs about ourselves and the world is psychologically threatening. Things suddenly become unpredictable and that doesn't feel safe. So the brain tends to discount it and hold on to whatever fits with previous experience, even if that belief causes distress.” She emphasises some of the basic tasks to take care of these situations. After reading her “Getting started” list, I personally find “mindfulness practice” a very effective one. She calls it “formal practice to build that ability to step back from your thoughts and observe them without judgement.”
Hiding these spikes or dumping these judgemental approaches in a sabotaged emotional periphery can make things entangled. It may come out abruptly in our simple daily activities. We generally feel conscious to discuss these hidden low phases and we have the tendency to cover that up with other traits like pretentious smiles or confused mannerisms. But I would not be uncomfortable laying out everything in front of myself, and I bet no one would differ to do that in a personal corner. In a nutshell, I find that if we don’t approve ourselves, there’s nothing that can give us solid validation or confidence on a platter. Every not-so-good quality must find shelter in our self-development practices. We all have that ability to create these development pathways; sometimes it just needs some directions and some wilful efforts. I call that ability Ina*.
The well-designed cage is not the ultimate place to stay. Every corner has some air to grow blooming personalities.
(*In Sanskrit, Ina (इन).—a. means determined or anything that is powerful.)